I’m going to preface this post with the statement, I hate thieves. I really do. I loath them. I really, really, really, dislike when people who justify in their minds that it’s ok to take something that belongs to someone else. So now that you know that you can perhaps cut me some slack when I tell you what a crazy person I was a few weeks ago.
Let me back up first to few months ago, when we noticed my sons bike that had broken brakes at the bottom of the hill where we live. I assumed someone took it and probably to their dismay realized on the way down the very steep hill that the breaks were broke and ditched it. I may or may not have secretly hoped they broke their nose when they fell. We brought it home fixed the breaks and 2 weeks later it was gone again, this time for good.
Fast forward again to a few weeks ago. I was sitting on the couch and my neighbor knocked on the door and said, “Some teenager just came to your house, took your kids scooter, and headed down the hill”. I was so annoyed that I jumped in my car with air dried hair that mirrored a lions mane, no shoes, and no phone.
I drove down the hill and saw no one, until out of the corner of my eye I see a kid flying down another street on a scooter. I chased him down in my Honda Pilot. I said “Dude, you just stole that from my house”. He said, “No I didn’t”, I said “Yes you did, my neighbor saw you.” He then proceeded with an admission of guilt and a thousand apologies. Apparently he “just needed a ride home and was having a bad day”. Lame. I told him that I was 99.9% sure he stole my kids bike and unless he gives it back or tells me where he left it I was going to call the police. That’s when he says this, “Do I look like the type of person that would steal a little kids bike?” To which I said, “Are you and idiot? You just stole a little kids scooter, you absolutely look like a person that would steal a little kids bike”. I know I shouldn’t have called him an idiot but remember I was in crazy mode.
I told him to wait while I called the police, which is when I remembered that I didn’t have my phone. “Get in my car.” I said. He looked at me like I was a lunatic and said “I’m not getting in your car.” That’s when I realized that although citizens arrest did sound empowering I was being little too crazy. So I did the next best thing and flagged down a truck. The boy ran to the truck before I could get there and told them I was a crazy lady trying to make him get in my car. I looked like a crazy person, and these passer by’s were young and seemed to be reluctant. They finally gave me their phone and I called the police. After they drove off He threw his hands up in the air with the “rock on” symbol and took off.
I was so mad that I was seeing red. I sat in my car and punched the steering wheel, and yelled loudly. That’s about when the cop pulled up. I told him my story and he knocked on a few doors. I was happy to hear that someone who saw the boy and the crazy lady arguing knew who he was. They directed the officer to his house, and he totally got busted. I wanted to go to his front door and throw the rock on sign in his face, but then I remembered that I wasn’t 12 years old. I swear it took me 3 days to calm down about it. Moral of this story is don’t steal from Kristin Wilkerson, unless you want to be tracked down and yelled at, because so help me I will find you.